Our forces amassed at the edge of the customer parking lot, waiting for the signal.
This time. This time it would be different. We would not let them pass.
Thousands of them this time. Each the product of fell science with a single thought. No mere PS5 or Apple Watch would placate them. No. These things would be satisfied only with one of those air fryers with the grill underneath.
Some might say let them fry their air. But do you truly believe they would stop at that? Never! They would never rest until all air fried, and us along with it!
Already we could hear their death chant - "Grill! Grill! Grill! Grill!" - and see their ragged banners flutter in the chill breeze, promising them thirty - nay, forty, some even sixty percent reductions! A terrible need that could ne'er be sated!
The clock tower of the all-night ASDA struck the fatal hour.
It was upon us.
We thought we were prepared for this. That our walls were strong, that our prices were fair, that we could ride out this storm of insatiable greed. Were we wrong? Soon we would find out.
A gasp of dread runs through our ranks as they unveil their great siege engine, their largest Door Buster yet.
They charge, ready to tear down everything we hold dear - Small Business Saturday, Giving Tuesday, these mean nothing to them!
But we stand.
We stand!
Price shall be halved, credit score be shattered,
A sword-day, a Black Friday, ere the sun rises!
-- With apologies to J. R. R. Tolkien
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